Tonite when I was doing my study by Jen Hatmaker, I laughed at the title of the day "Dancing Monkeys". I guess that was to be expected....especially with the day I had today. I was off of work and took the opportunity to hang out with my kid. It was a great day! But prior to us leaving, I caught up with two friends of mine and had to make a call to my boss about a situation at work, because it had to be dealt with before I came back on Friday. I felt....like I was a dancing monkey! Literally!
Jen's chapter tonite started out funny as usual. Comparisons of Barbie and how she changed throughout the years and ultimately we hate Barbie. She states, and I am paraphrasing here, that we try to keep up with Barbie...she was/is a ballerina, a surgeon, a police officer..I didn't know this but Barbie apparently ran for President at one point in the 90's. Barbie is sexy, invincible, and rich, Jen points out. She is right and when she states that Barbie better wipe that pretty little smile off of her face or else.....I sympathize and want to rip Barbie's head off too. Really!? How can she be so happy dancing for US?" She is everything that we desire to be as women. But...she is so happy! And she makes it look so darn easy cause she has a huge smile plastered on her face!
Jen asks the question: "Monkey, who are you dancing for?" Who am I dancing for? Who am I searching approval from? My mom, my friends, my husband? Strangers? Co-workers? "We beg them to validate us." she writes. And I agree with her. I don't realize how often I go through my day worried about disappointing someone. Or my favorite is when I walk in to a place, work especially, did I screw up and am I gonna hear about it? Really?! Kinda sounds like the Enemy talking to me again. Giving me self-doubt and esteem problems again.
The Scripture reference that Jen used tonite was 1Kings 18:16-39. I have to admit. I am not a big reader of the Old Testament. But I learned something very interesting tonite from this. You can't control the environment that is presented. You can't change the cranking boss, or the difficult aunt, or the distant father. "The only thing you can control is who you dance for."
Interesting....I can't change anything. Just who I dance for. I can exhaust myself dancing for a co-worker who doesn't think twice about my existence. Or exhaust myself looking for the praise of family that I barely speak to. Or I can choose to seek the approval of only one person. God. He is the only one. And the thing about only dancing for God is if it the worst mess of a dance, off beat, and just a train wreck of a dance. God still loves me. And He approves of me anyway just because I am dancing for Him.
"Discover that your value exists because God takes pleasure in you..." I couldn't agree with her more! She hit it on the nose!
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