Fitting it all in

I know this is early for me to blog but I had to re-do my schedule a bit. Today is one of those days where Everything is happening either one after another or one right after each other. Makes me have to reconfigure all of my responsibilities! It is very tiresome!

So I have a new plan and I can't wait to see if it works out! I need to get on a regular schedule. Why and how? Well, for starters I have 33hrs this week. And it isn't a regular shift. Today I start at 1pm and tomorrow 730pm and so on.  So how does one fit it all in with a jacked up work schedule. Healthy eating, working out, family time, time with the hubby, blogging, and of course time with our Lord. Oh and then the ever coveted ME time. Let's not forget the never ending doctor appointments and at the same time trying to be a girlfriend at the same time. Sigh. Just typing all that has made me exhausted.

I awoke this morning to my coffee already made (God did good when he put the timer program for coffee pots in to someone's head) and spoke to the Lord. Woke the mother who is visiting so she can get to her flight on time. Woke the husband. Put a load of laundry in. Natalee woke up. Fed her. Checked mail and so on and so on. And as we speak...the house is awake and booming. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the chaos right now...it isn't really chaotic...but buzzing with morning activity.

Then I discovered the calendar. This modern piece of technology. I never knew how useful one can be. I have a gorgeous Franklin Covey calendar and I use it for the important things. Doctor appts. mainly. Or when my mom is coming in or special events but never to "organize my life". DUH!!! Really? So that is my plan...I am sure I will find that I have more time on my hands then I realize once I get it all down. Funny, I was always told to do "schedule my workouts in my planner"-"plan the meals for the week"....that all seems like a pipe dream to me. But...I am willing to give it a try! So, Let's say I'll check back in tonite. Hopefully, with His Grace!

Today...well was a Day!

And a good one at that...once I woke up from my 3 hour nap. I had to open at work this morning and that made my day begin at 4:30am. Actually, 3am if count the time I actually got up. So I needed to rest...God love my husband. He completely took over and took Natalee to see his mom today. I am still home by myself enjoying the quiet.

I got up from my nap and then decided to workout (enough laughing out there!)
But see when you work around coffee all day...it gets into you pores and well I smelled like fresh brewed cup of coffee...which is funny cause I had my workout clothes on..not my Barista Attire! Oh and my husband just loves it when I come home smelling like work...I could think of a million things that I could smell like...let's be glad it is coffee.

I am now enjoying a cup of tea to sooth my soul. I am gonna curl up with my bible and see what the Lord has in store for me. I plan on heading to bed early (enough with laughing already) tonite. I am tickled to see my Aunt Fran tomorrow. I haven't seen her in ages! God's grace is making a way for me to fit all the important stuff in my life together.  At HIS time not mine. And that is sometimes hard for me to remember. It all isn't gonna happen at once! Baby steps. God's grace. I am thankful for these quiet moments! These peaceful, quiet moments.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Keeping Things Normal

My daughter is amazing! She is smart and talented and just a joy to know...I am blessed everyday that God chose me to be her mom! But recently, with all that has transpired in last few months in my family, financial and health concerns, it is hard for this wonderful 5 year old not to have some anxiety.  My husband and I try very hard not to show these concerns to our daughter. But kids pick up on things and they pick on on them quick. Sometimes too quick.

She has been complaining of stomach pains every time that she eats. Occasionally, she would just mention it at random.  So we took her to the doctor and there doesn't seem to be anything "wrong". EXCEPT for all the changes in the house. Shall I begin:
-I went back to work
-Torrance is at home with her now (which is awesome)
-Torrance is recovering from some back issues and hip issues
-She has picked up (I am sure) that money got really tight for awhile (she has great hearing!)
And that is the little things. Her little world was turned upside down!

It just broke my heart when I sat her down and we had our talk about what was bothering her. I asked a question and towards the 3rd questions she responded with..."and now I am gonna cry". I was crushed.
We ended up having a great talk and I reminded her that she can always talk to mommy. But the mark on my heart was there. I felt guilty. I felt like a bad mom. I felt like I had let her down and I had abandoned her feelings and where she fell into all of this. I always boasted on how she was such a trooper with the on going doctor appointments and the meetings. And how she just "went" with the flow of things. How she was such a "good girl" and so well behaved in the hospital and in the ER for my husband. Really? Did ever once asked her how SHE was doing! Ughhhh!  The pit in stomach.

Tomorrow is another doctor appointment for my husband. This appointment will be to discuss surgery. Then we will ALL spend the day together. I don't know what we are gonna do, where we are gonna go, or how long we are gonna do it! But we are gonna spend a day that a 5 year old would approve of.

Proud to be a part of this!!

http://news.starbucks.com/article_display.cfm?article_id=505

Saddened and Angry?

(my spell check isn't working...pardon)

I am both! Yep! I am angry that I feel like a selfish person. I am sitting here by the grace of God blogging. Yes, I have my yuck....but I am so lucky and blessed too. My daughter, my husband, a roof over my head, a part time job. Things aren't perfect but my needs are met plus more. I am finding myself and others worried about cold coffee, traffic jams, and wrinkled pants. All this while Japan is devistated.

I am sooo saddened! The tragedy in Japan has been on my heart since it has happened. I ask God why has this been weighed on me...I am praying and I am crying over this tradgedy. I have more than they do at this time and at one point I thought I had nothing...even then, I still had more then, than what Japan has now. So what am I to do? I am asking my Facebook family to pray. I ask Twitter to pray! I am praying. I know God is hearing them. I ask that you pray too. I know the people of Japan are covered in His grace and that He will hold them and cover them.

Maybe I am the only one who thinks this way...maybe not. I don't know.

And in the process we do need to carry on with our lives. Being the friend, the mom, the wife or husband that we need to be. I had a blessed weekend with my family. In between all the horrible headlines and news casts. My daughter has begun to pray from her heart and she is learning to pray for others from her heart as well. While God doesn't create tragedy, He uses the opportunity to bring us closer to Him. I see that with Natalee.

I believe we need to appreciate life for what it is. Devistation could be around the corner. Be greatful, kind caring and loving. Look for the small times of happiness or create them. It could all be gone in a blink of an eye. And then we will have the beautiful memories if tragedy does strike. Life is good. God is good. And His mercy, His gracious, gracious mercy is forever!

My heart is heavy!

Please pray! And pray hard! May God's grace cover them!

Lord, please be with the survivors while they search for missing loved ones. Be with those whom already are aware of the their loss. I pray Lord they will seek and find comfort in you!

http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_16026/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=CIaOQchI

Guilt?

A very dear friend of mine called me tonight. I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her for....months. And I feel bad for that. She actually thought that for a moment that I was avoiding her or too busy for her. I love her! Everyone knew/knows what has been going on in my house these past few months...my husband's health, me going back to work, not to mention the rough financially period we are in.  But a part of me has to think for a minute....why didn't I call her? I have to say when my life is rough, I tend to not open up to her or others like a should...she gets really ticked at me for that.  She is a wonderful support and always has great advice for me. And she puts things in perspective that I can't always see...sorry mom! But bottom line is I should have called.

How many times have I put that off with other people? With friends that love me and want to support me? I feel guilty! Guilty that I may be putting a burden on them. I feel guilty that it isn't fair for them to hear my "sob" story...everyone has their yuck right?

Well I have learned over time and I am still learning that sometimes, at least for me, people get tired of their OWN yuck and need to hear someone else's yuck! I am a big advocate for that! I get tired of my own stuff , my own problems, and my own needs. I need to hear and help others with theirs. I have learned that most of the time that when I am helping or advising or listening to others, sometimes just sometimes I can figure out my own stuff.

So I guess I have learned my lesson...at least I hope so. I need to remember that people love me and they want to support me. And I need to make time to be available to my friends..that helps me too.

Ted Williams....remember him?

God will be working miracles through this man!! Wow!!

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=7ZP7YLNX

Oh my Word! I

I am speechless....which is hard for me. Please pray for this man!


http://www.godvine.com/Homeless-Man-Finds-an-Envelope-of-Money-and-Returns-It-286.html

Homeless Chicken

Recently, I have talked about God's sense of humor with me. And how he has spoke to my heart LOUDLY during this "rough" time in my life to help the homeless.  Well that feeling hasn't exactly gone away. I am happy that the company I work for has Volunteer Days to give back to the community and that my store is connected with the homeless shelter here in town. We donate the pastry items including bagels and bread to them. But there is something still tugging. I guess that is because no matter how bad it has been in my life recently, financially speaking, I know that I have family and friends that would not let my family and I become homeless. We may have to split up for a bit but not become homeless. I am very blessed and thankful for that. Some families and single people don't have that. And I know that while there is a certain percentage of homeless being drug users, others are mentally ill, and some are just like my family. ALL of them deserve to be treated decently to a day old bagel, a biscuit, or fresh water.

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and we were chatting about our girls. She shared with me a story of how it was obvious a man that was sitting in the local chicken fast food place was homeless. He had walked in and purchased a biscuit and a water. He sat down quietly and ate. Another gentleman had bought him a little more to eat too.  As her girls were eating, they were looking at the homeless man. And my friends first reaction was to tell the girls not to stare. But to these girls, she realized, he was just another customer, a man in the restaurant to them.  He turned out to be very nice and complimented the girls and they left a lasting impression on him apparently by them talking to him and making him smile. Such innocents of children!  The thing that touch my heart, was that her youngest only took one bite off of her chicken and then she was done. My friend knowing that this man would probably not see another good meal for awhile offered it to him. And he humbly accepted.

Those two girls learned so much in that one hour that most of us never learn or it take us a long time to learn. My friend is an awesome mom. She is so proud of those girls. I am too! I reminded her that for all we know that could have been Jesus. I am reminded of Matthew 19:14  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 

As I continue to struggle to figure out what God wants me to do when it comes to the homeless, I am filled with JOY to know that there are others out there that care too. I am praying still that God will direct me on the right path to this. I can only do it with it with His Grace.

I don't even want to bother today!

I am having a Yuck day! I don't want to blog, tweet, or even be on fb.  I am trying to shake whatever it is I have...I am into self diagnosis...flu, cold, whatever. And I think I am a bit on the cranky side too. No, I am cranky. And I am sure there is some PMS going around too. Did I mention I have watched the spring showers turn into snow today?  Yuck! I just don't want to bother!
But God has blessed me with my husband. He is running the small errands that need to get done, taking care of Natalee, and keeping house to the best of his ability. What an awesome husband.

I am trying to slow down but it is this blood of mine that has been passed on from generation to generation tells me. I am not allowed...at least I feel I shouldn't or can't. Then my husband reminds me how hardheaded I am and says you need to get better and quit fighting your sickness. I am trying to slow down. For the love, God reminded me that it was okay! So why am I fighting? I am fighting this because I am a woman. I am a mom. I am Dawn. It doesn't make it right but it is who I am. I need to CONSTANTLY PRAY for God to let me be still. Even if it is when I am in bed when I just can't sit up anymore and look at a TV or read my bible. I need His guidance to let me be still. 

Matthew 28:11 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

Lord God, help me to not fight slowing down. Help me to find rest because I am weary and ill. Continue to remind me that it is okay to let others provide for my house and help out. Help me Lord to let go of needing to be in charge of the daily doings of my house and to trust that all is well in my home. I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Woman's History Month!

Here is some fun things!

http://www.infoplease.com/womens-history-month/quizzes-crosswords.html

Tea and Tissues..Please

Who likes being sick? Anyone? Anyone? (Insert cricket sounds here) Yeah me neither.
I survived my first morning opening at work today...I reported for duty at 4:30. Except, my daughter and my husband had a mild case of bad food. So they were up at 2am ill. A 5 year old breaks your heart when she thinks puking on your bed is HER fault. Poor kid. Needless to say I stayed awake, made sure the family was taken care of (in spite of me wanting to stay back and hold their hand), and went off to work. I came home and went to lay down for a couple of hours just to catch up on the lost hours of sleep from earlier. I woke up 5 hours later and had a sore throat, stuffy nose and a tad achy. I work in a coffee shop and thought nothing of it. I made dinner and started to feel worse. We ate.  And that is when it hit. After dinner. I spare you the details. But I am sitting here with tea to calm my tummy, tissues for my nose, throat lozenges for the obvious, and a cup of tea and honey.

All I have to say is REALLY??? Like I have time for this. New job, new blog, organizing my house, and being wife and mom. And do it all in a graceful Christian manner.  REALLY??? I am not really up for the challenge.

If I have ever needed to be covered by God's grace, it would be now. But God with His amazing sense of humor, has also telling me a few things too....Dawn, SLOW DOWN. Sometimes even our First Doctor, First Healer makes us slow down a bit. And I believe He is right. I NEED to let Torrance help out since he feels good. I NEED to let myself get better. It is almost like I needed Him to give me permission to SLOW DOWN.

And I am. By His Amazing Grace.

Happy Birthday Dr. Suess!!!!

Have fun today with your little ones!!
http://familycrafts.about.com/cs/marchholidays/l/blmar2nd.htm

We all Have our Yuck

I was off work today and spent it at a dear friend's house. I was watching her kids, which gave Natalee some kids to play with too! Yay!  I have been friends with my girlfriend since college and as well as her husband.

She got home and I was almost done finishing making dinner when I commented on her FB post. "God does provide". Let's be for real...I have a hard time remembering that...it normally takes me to get to church, go through alter call, sob ridiculously, just to accept the fact that God does provide. She just amazes me...I felt like boom she got it!

After I asked her what was going on, it hit me. You see I hold this dear friend and her family in my heart as "having it together" and "the model family". They are Christians, each on there own pace with Christ. But for the first time I ACTUALLY got it....she has her yuck too. She named her yuck from last week by days...some financial and some family. Whew! I felt for her. I understood her yuck! Then she began telling me all the good parts...the stuff that makes the yuck go away. Hence her stating in her status..."God does provide."  While we don't have the same yuck...we have yuck.

I love visiting with her and her family. Her kids are great. She works very hard. She is like the rest of us...a working mother of 3.  I know that God is covering her with His grace too. It is only by His grace that we are able to move on through the yuck.