Handling the Past

As you all know, I am in the midst of a career change. Fifteen years in Long Term Care and working with the elderly, working in social services and working with people with Alzheimer's, Activities, being a director and manager just did me in when I was a "budget cut" and let go after up rooting my family to move to a new a town. No more bitterness here I swear.  I miss the environment and miss those residents that I worked with. I loved my staff and I felt that I had a great team too. But the "Do-er" of the "firing", was a woman that I thought was amazing. I understood her and why she did what she needed to do. My administrator, hated me. So my boss the Do-er, let me go...I have no hard feelings toward her at all...I have never been able to say it to her cause I honestly thought that she believed that I did all the HORRIBLE things that was listed on my termination paper. I just wanted the opportunity to tell her that I "forgive" her for letting me go, that I understand why she did what she had to do, and that I still think she is an amazing person. It has almost been a year...and I haven't been able to do it....until tonite.

So this is what happened. I am ending my shift at the local coffee shop and I am working the drive thru. I have this great headset and I am cleaning the oven and a call comes thru my set...."Thanks for stopping by this evening what can I get started for you?" I didn't recognize the voice and took her order. Walked to my window and BOOM!!!! There she was my old boss.

I just looked at her and said "Oh my Gosh!" She said she recognized my voice and etc...my eyes just filled with tears. Why? Cause I could finally let go of the pain and anger that I thought I wasn't harboring.

I told her that I didn't blame her for letting me go. That I understood why she did what she did. And that I was so happy that I saw her. And that I saw her at the drug store but didn't want to approach her cause I knew I would cry. She said something to me that I wasn't expecting....she said "Dawn, don't think you are worth what happened that day! You are so much more than that. I know that you wouldn't of done the things that were listed with intention. I just would of written you up and been done. But you know (name withheld) she gets her way!".

All this at my "new" job with no one around. I am crying out the drive through window.Who does that? Oh wait I do!

I breathed a sigh of relief! I felt so free. God led me to finally forgive her. Forgive her for something that I thought I was over and done with! But God knew. He knew I needed to release all the anger and frustration. That I thought I had let go of!